It's been over 40 days since I graduated college
and I didn’t even notice. Time flows differently when you work 40hrs/week, not including the time you spend managing your household or recovering from the workday.
I updated my planner with the life events I’ve experienced these past few weeks and realized that I was (once again) too hard on myself. I started my full-time job as a teacher one day after I graduated. I didn’t have any time to rest or recover from graduation weekend, and in turn, no time to recover from finals week and the car accident.
I was allowed an extension for one of my finals that needed to be completed before the end of my first full-time work week. Despite being an alumnae, I didn’t feel like one yet because of this. I had to speed up my hunt for my own apartment since previous plans fell through. I was sick of living on campus.
During all of this I was dealing with insurance from the accident and trying to find a doctor. At times like this I miss living in Chicago. Why are businesses only open while I’m working? If I had an office job I could call at my desk, but my job involves me being on my feet, away from my cell phone. My lunch breaks seemed to always be the same as the hospital staff.
I spent my 1-hour breaks dealing with personal affairs instead of resting. For example, the mailroom on my campus was only open during my shifts so I had to walk all the way back and forth to pick up my mail (I couldn’t ride my bike until it was fixed and paid for). I also needed to figure out how much I needed to pay the school for letting me stay on campus during May.
I scheduled apartment tours and finally found a place, but had to deal with a whole new set of problems and challenges. I will say that my bike being fixed boosted my mood significantly, only for the rain to ruin it. The week my bike was fixed, it stormed for the entire week.
The good news was that my family came to help me move and I feel safe and secure. We found a futon so I have a place to sit to watch tv (on my laptop) and type for this blog! Moving was a lot of work, but seeing my family again, eating good food, and celebrating my cousin’s birthday made it all worth it.
I was able to get my electricity set up that same weekend, however, I wasn’t able to get internet for another two weeks. All my plans for YouTube videos went down the drain.
Wait, two weeks? Yes. The days really do mesh together when you have one job taking up all your time. On June 1st, I started my new social media journey “experimenting with social media: new soil”, where this entire month’s main goal is to figure out how best to create my own platform as a creator. How best to express myself and help others via social media, including TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, etc.
That Friday I became sick. The temperatures have remained in the upper 90s, low 100s so far, and I’ve never done well with the heat. I also work with children, and children are rather germy. Another factor in my illness is that I haven’t had the time to recover from any of the mental and physical trauma I’ve experienced this past year and in 2020. Stress adds up, it builds and builds until you can no longer bear the weight and you collapse.
Yesterday, I became ill once again, this time a full-fledged fever with 103 degree weather. I was freezing. I slept for 4 hours straight and ate cold chicken noodle soup to help me cool off. Still, I had my internet set up today and even had a driving lesson. I just don’t learn.
Even now I write this post feeling inadequate for not accomplishing my other goals. I was disappointed in myself for not pushing through my exhaustion and working on my YouTube channel, despite not having internet. Why didn’t I schedule a doctor’s appointment earlier? Now it’ll be so expensive. If only I started work one week later. These are thoughts that came to me last night.
I realize that there’s really not much else I could’ve done. If I didn’t start full-time immediately, I wouldn’t have been able to afford to move. I can’t control becoming physically ill. I find solace in the fact that this was always going to be a rough time regardless of my intentions are actions, after all, this is my post-grad adjustment period.
Are you struggling with your post-grad adjustment? Let’s chat in the comment section below.